The need to cry

Sometimes I am amazed at people who can be very emotional. That is because I find myself highly lacking in that depertment. I can be happy, sad, disappointed,angry, depressed etc etc. But I have never expressed all those emotions properly. Particularly serious is the case with crying. There of course have been a lotta tears flowing outta my eyes but they have had less to do with emotions and more to do with spicy food.
I do remember the last time I cried as a result of an emotional condition. That was when the family who had come to school to visit me for the first parent's visit day were leaving. After that I do not remember any particular instance where i have actually cried. Yeah I have been very sad on occasssions better left without mention, but have been crying. Well one question is "Is it for the better or worse?" Another thought could be " Does this mean you are strong or are u weak?" Does this mean you are afraid to show your emotions and are hiding behind a persona?

Whatever the thoughts, personally I have tried to cry and give vent to my feelings. But then realised that you do not try and cry, it just comes automatically. I came to conciously think of this in my VIII standard( Then u might guess that i have really put in a lotta thought). In the school I studied "the macho" is omnipresent. A guy's worth was decided by how much he could push himself to do. The better guy was the one who could run faster, longer and could do more push ups than anybody else. There during the farewell i saw some of the most "Macho" guys breaking down into a sea of tears and that got me thinking. Will I be crying on my farewell day? The day came and I was not crying. Actually I was feeling good at having had such a good life in the years I spent at my school.

Later years I saw people crying really hard, but the reason was obvious. They jus had one peg too many and that got them lachrymose. Another peg and they will automatically stop. Stories apart, what really makes people cry. I have not got an hypotheses that is even remotely close to explaining the phenomena and sure as hell I am no psychologist. I guess loads of professional psychologists may have done their Phd theses on the subject.

I just hope someone will make me cry. And maybe that's the one who is the one for my life....